I Can Always Get What I Want

Molly's penchant for negotiation continues to grow. I'm really considering sending her in to barter for our next major purchase (whatever that may be). She'd have that cuteness thing going for her and then she'd unleash her shark-like strategies and wham-o, the competition would be left in the dust. I'm beginning to think that the desire and ability to negotiate is genetic; John could and would and has bargained for almost everything -- we've gotten out of more fees, surcharges, and full prices than I can count. And now, I'm really beginning to see Molly look at her world with a more appraising eye and attempt to cut the best deal for herself.

Example 1 -- Negotiation by fear: she L-O-V-E-S Cozy Coupes. Not any car will do -- it has to be a Cozy Coupe (in Molly-world, it's a Crazy Coupe). They have these at school and the kids can use them at gym time. Her strategy to maximize her time in the Cozy Coupe? Use it until I see another kid who is looking longingly at the car but has caught a few too many hairy eyeballs from the little chauffeur and won't even try to get him/herself a turn dealing with her alone. So, I intervene, talk to Molly about sharing, and she (surprisingly) willingly gives up the car... and then engages in a stare down and a little stalking until the new driver is intimidated enough to return the car to her. No tears, just a little bit of fear and the cycle repeats itself. I can often distract her with a ball for some period of time but I always catch her sneaking back to the other side of the gym and then bee-lining for the car as soon as the other kid has vacated "her" vehicle. She got her own Cozy Coupe from Nana and Grandpa for her birthday so I thought maybe this would make her love affair with the cars at school a little less heated. But, nope, and the other kids continue to run from the mulleted car-jacker and she continues to enjoy the sweet taste of success.

Example 2 -- Negotiation by trying to slip a little extra in the deal: Molly loves the playground (who doesn't??) and is having a harder time leaving than she used to. Today, she really wanted to keep climbing on this one structure (one that I hate because while she climbs up really well, she doesn't climb down and gets stuck and I have to use some major monkey moves to get her down) and poor Jack was hungry and cold so I told her one more time and then we had to go, okay? She sort of cocked her head and nonchalantly said "how about two one-more-times" -- this was a statement, not a question. I was onto her scheme despite her attempt to slip one past this mom who was focused on the fact that I hate this climbing thing.

Example 3 -- Negotiation by cajoling: I am wearing a necklace that is made up of colorful beads that were mine when I was little and I have since restrung. As you can imagine, it's one of John's favorites (are you wearing your kid beads again?). Maybe I should rethink wearing them because they do appeal to the two year old set for whom they were originally intended. Molly looked at my necklace and said "probably that's my necklace." Oh it is, is it? This isn't the first time, either, that she has said that. I hear "probably, that's my binky" or "probably, that's my napkin" when she would like something that someone else has. It's all said very sweetly from this flippant little point of view and you sort of want to say "oh, right, it is, I'm sorry that I took this from my dresser this morning. Of course it's yours... heyyyyyyyyyyyy, wait a minute."

Example 4 -- Negotiation by self-deprecation: Molly, as you may know, loves when people sing to her. She especially loves when people sing wheels on the bus with her own wacky lyrics. The game goes that she'll give you a word (trees, for example) and then you have to come up with correlating response to what trees on the bus do (sway in the wind, for example). Sometimes, you can make up with the trees do, sometimes she has to make it up, and sometimes you have to remember what they did two weeks ago when you sang about the trees. When we sing about smoothies, for instance, sometimes the smoothies go slurp slurp slurp and other times they go yum yum yum. Get it? If you sing the wrong verse on any given day, you'll hear "oh, I'm sorry, actually it's XXX". You really feel like YOU inconvenienced HER even though it's a little hard to intuit what a two year old really wants to hear.

Hey, we all try to get our needs met, right? She just happens to be really good at negotiating her way to success.