O'Doyle Drools: Hello Dolly

This time I have an excuse. I dislocated my shoulder and seriously, typing with a sling on is not on my to-do list very often. So, that takes care of the last two weeks... as for the other eleventy seven that I've missed, I will come up with another excuse for not writing. Later. Right now, I'm typing.

(More) seriously, I have wondered why I haven't been drawn to write here as much lately and at least part of it is that I think there is a general sense of macro-equilibrium in our lives right now. There are the ever-present daily and weekly things to wrestle with and schedule, but in the larger sense, we're in a pretty good space with regards to family dynamics and health and activities. I will never be fully settled, it's just not my nature (hence the reason I move furniture around in my house more often than I change my underwear) but at least I feel have good systems in place right now. And everybody loves a good system, am I right ladies? And because we are bumping along without too many competing life events forcing us to be maniacs, I haven't felt the need to use writing as a way to process the competing emotions and ideas that is there in other times of my life. In the absence of big stuff happening, I also hesitate to be part of the movement that "everything in my life is perfect! Here is my Facebook dream life!" But you guys all know me, and you're well aware that if there's anything we lack around here, it's perfection. So, I should use the opportunity and this space to explore and dig a little deeper into myself -- even if things are okay. Because you all know I am very. very. good. at rambling... on and on and on and so on and so forth.

Let me make it clear, big decisions still loom out there but they feel manageable and like we have those systems to tackle them as they come up. And because our kids don't enter and exit stages and phases with warp-like speed anymore, I'm not constantly tackling issues of sleep, eating, diaper rashes, crying jags time can be spent on the longer-term stuff and not on the immediate "I haven't slept in three weeks" stuff. I've also started working a little bit again and re-connecting with that other world that I used to be a part of. It's very much on my terms and wow, does that little bit of space feel amazing. It's not that I needed to work to remind me of my life pre-kids or anything like that, I'm working because I enjoy the work I do. These six plus years out of social work has really helped me clarify what I like and what I don't like and also what I'm good at and what I'm not really good at. It was a gift to be out of work, frankly (says our bank account never), and I might be out of work again but I feel a little more confident that I can make the balance work in our favor given whatever other life events are sharing the spotlight.

I also haven't been writing because I'm so g-d tired of hearing about the mommy wars, leaning in/leaning out, banning bossy, French parenting, making my kids play in the dirt and use knives, shutting off my cell phone, and that lactose intolerance might be the result of which kind of cows your milk comes from... wait, not the last one. That is actually really interesting to me. It's not that the parenting articles don't have great points -- they do -- and they have all made me think. But you know what they've mostly made me think about? Rejecting dogma. I love Sheryl Sandburg, I really do (I bet some of you didn't expect that!) but I also love composting and Tina Fey and books about introverts and DIY bloggers. The point is that there's something to be learned from all of these folks (especially Tina Fey) and there is no point in adopting or rejecting any of their ideas wholesale. Nor is there any point to feeling adequate or inadequate with regards to Pinterest/Instagram/Facebook and whatever new-fangled snapchat/twitter hybrid exists now (hey, I just found out that people use Pinterest to post work outs! I use it strictly for cookie ideas). Instead of spending the time reading the counter points around banning bossy and why it's a terrible idea, I am trying to take the parts of Sandburg's thoughts that make sense to me and leaving out the ones that don't. I appreciate the viewpoint but I don't need the four hundred articles that follow. Everyone can create their own mix, can't they? But don't hate Sheryl Sandburg for saying it. Vitriol serves no one (except against Rick Perry). I honestly think that Mommy wars exists largely in some made up media world because the view on the ground is decidedly more supportive.

So, now that I've got some of what off my chest, I will tell you that we are in a decidedly interesting period of life. A four and a six year old make life hilarious and challenging and emotional and progressive and lovely and tiring. It's actually all the same ways that the kids have previously enriched our lives, but the stuff we're able to do with them has been so, so fun lately. We've got big kids. And, unfortunately, I've stopped taking pictures of all the madness and fun, which is a big regret of mine. I will remedy that since I'm spending less time considering how French moms act at the playground.

I think we're also still settling in a little bit and I know from prior experience that it takes at least a year to feel, more or less, at home. Winter here is lo-ong. "Spring" has been nothing to write home about so far, but it's familiar and decidedly less wet. Molly is a happy camper with oodles of playmates in her immediate vicinity. She has embarked on new activities and adventures -- and stuff that I didn't do as a kid, so it is fun to learn with her. Six year olds are full of ideas and a little vinegar but she is just an interesting and thoughtful and capable kid to experience things with. Poor Jack does not have nearly as many kids his age around the neighborhood but he has taken a keen interest in younger ladies, I've noticed, and there is a little gal on the next street over that he loves (though doesn't understand why I won't let him walk over there by himself to play with her. Judgement remains something we're working on). He has met some good little guys at preschool, too, and there is always his best buddy Will. I love those two together --they are like puppies with each other. He's got a big heart, that one, and his world is full of so much color and ideas and I love watching him integrate big ideas with his four year old world-view.

And the rest of us? We're good... working on the house, playing hockey, running and falling on ice. It's good. We're just looking for spring.